Week 3 Matchup Previews

Cordyyyyy Nooo! is making the rest of the league say "Noooo!" — but this time in despair. At 2-0 with a league-leading 352.85 points scored, Cordyyyyy is the early-season juggernaut nobody saw coming. Meanwhile, Forrest Gump is still running... and running... and running. Life is like a box of chocolates, and unfortunately for Forrest, this week's chocolate has Drake Maye going against Josh Allen. Spoiler: it's not the good chocolate.

AR 15% Completion Rate is living up to its name — barely completing wins at a 50% clip. But with 62% playoff odds, they're somehow the most likely 1-1 team to make the dance. Pinhead Larry, on the other hand, sits at 3% playoff odds, which is roughly the same probability as SpongeBob getting his boating license. Jayden Daniels vs Bo Nix is the QB battle nobody asked for but everybody's getting.

No Pack No said "No" to losing last week and it worked! Now they face Aseel Tare, who's 0-2 and saying "No" to winning. This is the closest projected matchup of the week (174 vs 170), which means it's the one most likely to come down to a Monday night prayer. No Pack No has a stunning 98% playoff odds despite being 1-1 — the model believes in them more than they believe in themselves. Aseel Tare has Lamar Jackson AND Christian McCaffrey, which feels like bringing a bazooka to a knife fight and still somehow losing.

THE TOILET BOWL. THE BATTLE OF THE WINLESS. Someone's getting their first W, and by God, it's going to be beautiful. Philly Fury sits at 1% playoff odds — statistically eliminated in September, a new league record. Buddy Love Goes Coconuts is at 2%, which is technically double the playoff odds, so they're the "favorites." These two teams have combined for 0 wins, 4 losses, and approximately 476 points against. Buddy Love is favored by 28 projected points, which in this league means absolutely nothing.

Robert. Just... Robert. No last name, no gimmick, just Robert. And yet, this man has 77% playoff odds — the highest of any 1-1 team. To Infinity and Bijan wants to go to infinity, but at 42% playoff odds, they might not even get past Week 3. Bijan Robinson is carrying this team to infinity and beyond... or at least to a respectable .500 record. Robert counters with Derrick Henry, because apparently Robert believes in running backs built like refrigerators.

THE BATTLE OF THE UNBEATEN! Two 2-0 teams clash, and one's perfect record is about to get a reality check. Wawa — named after a convenience store, playing like a well-oiled machine. Team TBD — literally couldn't decide on a name, and now they can't decide on a loss. At 42% playoff odds despite being 2-0, Team TBD has the model's least confidence of any unbeaten team. Wawa has 75% playoff odds and Jordan Love going up against Patrick Mahomes, which is like bringing a hoagie to a gunfight.